"every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end"

it's the little things that get me missing him. Teeny little things that you wouldnt expect. Last week i was watching tom and jerry, and just seeing the character tom make this super cheesy kissy face reminded me of him. a day or so ago, a friend taught me to do "tha stanky leg" dance, and again, i was reminded of the inside joke i had with my friend.
Being reminded of a certian someone has the capacity to sting beyond reproach.
i am just missing him.
It's about a quarter mile walk to the shower. Before i lost my very good friend, i would detour to his room on my way to the shower and say a quick hello.

for the past week i've completely avoided my normal route to the shower. just looking in the general direction of my friends old hooch would tug at my heart, pushing it to the bottom of my colon. (which, for the record, is quite a distance further than it's normal resting place).
I had been opting for an alternate route, to avoid any further pain brought on by memories in passing of our developed friendship throughout the entire duration of training and deployment.
Last night, i swallowed my sadness, took a deep breath, and elected to take my "normal" route to my evening shower, right past his hooch.
And i was alright.
I didnt feel pain.
The tug at my heart was because i *missed* him. It wasnt hurt.it was love. What the heck was i so afraid of?
Swallowing my sadness and walking *past* it, not around it, helped me to say goodbye to the memory of a good friend.
because that is what he wishes to remain.