knock knock

Q: Knock knock:
A:Whose there?
Jon Pollard a little over a year ago
*crickets chirping*

((i'll elaborate ha.)
*i was putzing around my old emails....*

Jon Pollard
to me

show details 5/27/09

I just wanted to send you an email telling you how much I love you. I love you so much, that truthfully words can not describe it. I can not wait to hold you in my arms when you are able to come home on leave. I am looking forward to that day so much. I love you and miss you so much. Hope that you get a good nights sleep and that you have a nice safe day tomorrow. I love you baby.

wow....good thing i dont drink coke!

What happens to you within an hour of drinking a Coke....

* In The First 10 minutes: 10 teaspoons of sugar hit your system. (100% of your recommended daily intake.) You don’t immediately vomit from the overwhelming sweetness because phosphoric acid cuts the flavor allowing you to keep it down.
* 20 minutes: Your blood sugar spikes, causing an insulin burst. Your liver responds to this by turning any sugar it can get its hands on into fat. (There’s plenty of that at this particular moment)
* 40 minutes: Caffeine absorption is complete. Your pupils dilate, your blood pressure rises, as a response your livers dumps more sugar into your bloodstream. The adenosine receptors in your brain are now blocked preventing drowsiness.
* 45 minutes: Your body ups your dopamine production stimulating the pleasure centers of your brain. This is physically the same way heroin works, by the way.
* >60 minutes: The phosphoric acid binds calcium, magnesium and zinc in your lower intestine, providing a further boost in metabolism. This is compounded by high doses of sugar and artificial sweeteners also increasing the urinary excretion of calcium.
* >60 Minutes: The caffeine’s diuretic properties come into play. (It makes you have to pee.) It is now assured that you’ll evacuate the bonded calcium, magnesium and zinc that was headed to your bones as well as sodium, electrolyte and water.
* >60 minutes: As the rave inside of you dies down you’ll start to have a sugar crash. You may become irritable and/or sluggish. You’ve also now, literally, pissed away all the water that was in the Coke. But not before infusing it with valuable nutrients your body could have used for things like even having the ability to hydrate your system or build strong bones and teeth.

I copied this from the Nutrition Research Center

chopped n screwed

Alright, internet.
notice the glass of wine? pepperoni? bags under my eyes? jacked up hair?

In the past two minutes, ive poured a glass of my chilled wine (a nice 2005chenin blanc that pollard and i picked up on our honeymoon that we were saving until i returned from Afghanistan lol) and grabbed a few slices of pepperoni. Yep. at 0258 in the morning)

Aproximatley28 minutes ago, (which so happened to be 023something) my phone rings. Being that i have a very tight knit family, the first thing i do is jolt out of my bed, assume the absolute worst, and sprint through my teeny apartment. Without even glancing at caller ID, i pick up the phone, and to my bewilderment, it was H.
He sounded half asleep, and while i was confounded as to what could have possibly prompted this person who hasn't spoken more than five words to me at a time in the previous two weeks would call, i was also ruminating on the irony of his call.

In all seriousness, prior to being awakened by his impromptu call, i had been dreaming about him. (let me intercede right here; it wasn't *that* sort of dream).

*This* dream involved he and i first sitting at a table (somewhere down south) dining on chitlins, pickled pigs feet, red beans, rice, collard greens and sweet tea, and involved him speaking, and me listening (for once).
He was chronicling the last year of our relationship/friendship and was one by one, elucidating the reasons we didn't belong together.
(Heres where it gets _really_ weird) The dream that followed the previously mentioned one included him lying in my bed, half naked, giving me the same speech. Only he was lying in my bed while i was ironing and folded his clothes.
Now this was a weird dream, because this isn't the sort of thing he would EVER say to me.

Anyhow, his call woke me. ((which since they weren't great dreams, i didn't mind so much))
We discussed our career paths, shared the same "so what now" (career wise) woes, and....while he is in a slightly better place than i am right now, we are basically in the same boat.
But that's all the discussion was about. Well, for the most part anyway..it also consisted of my telling him how weird it was that he would choose stupid o clock in the morning to call me, because it just so happened that my subconscious had been reminding me via my dreams that he and i are very good "friends"

Upon he and i hanging up, i called my momma. I didn't mean to wake her (shes just usually about to go to sleep around this time) but she didn't answer. Roughly five minutes later she called back and asked what was up...so i told her to go back to sleep, but she wanted to know why i called, so i elucidated what had just happened and the first thing out of her mouth was "that's so weird, i was just dreaming about you"
*crickets chirping*
goodnight,internet. thanks for "listening" ;}

soliloquy

this year

i have been pregnant.
i have had cysts removed from my ovaries.
i have come back from Afghanistan, and in the last week,my heart has gradually broken....by the stone cold stinging reality that reflects the disheartening authenticity that just so happens to be the most recent chapter in my life.
i have lived, laughed, loved, trusted and wanted to be with one certain person more than anyone else in my life.This person owns my heart.
Two days ago i broke his heart.
this one person has taught me so much. about myself, about others, and about acceptance.mostly, that he and i were never meant to be permanent fixtures in each others life. I've learned that no matter how much of a blessing he *was*, and while it is entirely possible that he in fact *was* meant to be in my life for a reason, my heart has finally connected (or caught up with) my brain, as i have come to aquiess that this persons presence was indeed a temporary friendship/love... no matter how much either one of us would like to imagine.
in order for the situation to have been avoided, he and i would have to had to have overcome insurmountable odds...and sacrifice entirely too much of ourselves to be together.
So, goodbye kenny.you have the biggest piece of my heart...and i'd eventually like it back.